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Devious Journal Entry
1 min read
Well it looks like one of my recent obsessions will be realized soon. I will be getting soon a porcelain ball joint doll. My new muse should be here sometime next week. I will be so broke for the next few months but it will be totally worth it. The beauty that I will be getting is from Maryna Skubenko. She is such a great artist. Check out her website at: www.weeluckycharms.com/
Or at her Deviantart page at: marynas.deviantart.com/
Or at her Deviantart page at: marynas.deviantart.com/
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Devious Journal Entry
4 min read
I'm working on this story, well I have been working on this story on & off for years. I hope to one day have it finished.
This is a work in progress. I have images & photos that go along with with each chapter, but here is the first chapter...
I sit on top of this writhing old tower, my secret haven to the chaos and madness of this passing city. Feeling the wind blowing in my hair, through my body; I ponder if only he had taken me. All I wanted was to be taken from here, from the empty existence. From this city were life goes on with or without me. I'm of no consequence, to anyone. He told me that I was not worth taking. That my life was so empty; flavored less and without any experience that my blood would not even taste exquisitely rich.
"A well lived life, full of moments and events, is brimming with blood full of flavor and spice." He coldly stated
"Please just end it all!" I pleaded
"What for?" he said
"Because my life, as you plainly stated, is not worth it."
"I have always been just a spectator of life. So what would be that difference to put an end to my existence?" I responded
"I will not waste my energy in taking your life," he said as he left and walked away.
I felt hurt that not even this creature of the night, a creature that thinks of humans, as substance, would end my misery. All this took place a year ago. Now I sit on this tower again looking at the world that I let pass through me, like the chilling wind goes through my skin. Ever since I met him I have thought of nothing else but him and that night. As I stand up on the edge of this tower contemplating the long fall, I feel this familiar icy presence behind me.
"You have been haunting my thoughts. You call upon me every night," this voice said in the dark. I knew it has him, he had returned
"I could not let you go; you were the only answer to my misery, but you rejected me. As I recall you said that my life was not even worth you feeding feed on."
"Since I have last seen you, I've heard your constant pleads in the night. Your constant begging is like a human disease that assaults the mind, pollutes the body and nauseates the soul." As he said these words, I can hear him walking closer toward me. I couldn't move. His voice hypnotized my body. I felt his cold breath close to my neck.
"I have been alone so long I yearn for someone, a companion, more then I yearn for the blood that nourishes my survival," he whispered close to my ear. He touched my shoulder; it felt like cold steel fingers melting through my skin.
"I felt desire for you the first time we met. Yet I waited, until the desire turned into this aching pain; into this burning agitation that was driving my mind into madness."
At this point I felt petrified to hear these words. I was amazed that I could inflict this kind of pain or desire into any man, let alone a sanguine. Yet, his words felt like icy, sweet caresses in my body. He moved closer, slithering his left hand on my waist. I could not move. I did not want to move. His icy right hand gentle gripped my neck; turned it slight to the right, exposing my bare flesh. His cold touch on my hot sweaty neck sired my flesh.
As he opened his mouth he said, "Is this not what you wanted?"
I could barely whisper, "Yes" as my heart was pulsating under my skin.
"You smell sweet," he whispered in my ear as I felt his breath, his tongue caressing my neck. I felt the icy wetness of his teeth before everything went black.
This is a work in progress. I have images & photos that go along with with each chapter, but here is the first chapter...
I sit on top of this writhing old tower, my secret haven to the chaos and madness of this passing city. Feeling the wind blowing in my hair, through my body; I ponder if only he had taken me. All I wanted was to be taken from here, from the empty existence. From this city were life goes on with or without me. I'm of no consequence, to anyone. He told me that I was not worth taking. That my life was so empty; flavored less and without any experience that my blood would not even taste exquisitely rich.
"A well lived life, full of moments and events, is brimming with blood full of flavor and spice." He coldly stated
"Please just end it all!" I pleaded
"What for?" he said
"Because my life, as you plainly stated, is not worth it."
"I have always been just a spectator of life. So what would be that difference to put an end to my existence?" I responded
"I will not waste my energy in taking your life," he said as he left and walked away.
I felt hurt that not even this creature of the night, a creature that thinks of humans, as substance, would end my misery. All this took place a year ago. Now I sit on this tower again looking at the world that I let pass through me, like the chilling wind goes through my skin. Ever since I met him I have thought of nothing else but him and that night. As I stand up on the edge of this tower contemplating the long fall, I feel this familiar icy presence behind me.
"You have been haunting my thoughts. You call upon me every night," this voice said in the dark. I knew it has him, he had returned
"I could not let you go; you were the only answer to my misery, but you rejected me. As I recall you said that my life was not even worth you feeding feed on."
"Since I have last seen you, I've heard your constant pleads in the night. Your constant begging is like a human disease that assaults the mind, pollutes the body and nauseates the soul." As he said these words, I can hear him walking closer toward me. I couldn't move. His voice hypnotized my body. I felt his cold breath close to my neck.
"I have been alone so long I yearn for someone, a companion, more then I yearn for the blood that nourishes my survival," he whispered close to my ear. He touched my shoulder; it felt like cold steel fingers melting through my skin.
"I felt desire for you the first time we met. Yet I waited, until the desire turned into this aching pain; into this burning agitation that was driving my mind into madness."
At this point I felt petrified to hear these words. I was amazed that I could inflict this kind of pain or desire into any man, let alone a sanguine. Yet, his words felt like icy, sweet caresses in my body. He moved closer, slithering his left hand on my waist. I could not move. I did not want to move. His icy right hand gentle gripped my neck; turned it slight to the right, exposing my bare flesh. His cold touch on my hot sweaty neck sired my flesh.
As he opened his mouth he said, "Is this not what you wanted?"
I could barely whisper, "Yes" as my heart was pulsating under my skin.
"You smell sweet," he whispered in my ear as I felt his breath, his tongue caressing my neck. I felt the icy wetness of his teeth before everything went black.
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weird dream
2 min read
The other night had a very vivid but weird dream.
Back in the 90's living with my mother in a townhouse apartment. Was the middle of the night in the dream too. Awake to see my mother lying on the floor, curled up in the hall and the first step of the stairs. This strange man was standing over her body. She was asleep. Not sure how she got there. The man looked like some actor that I have seen on TV. White, old and creepy looking, he had an empty look on his face, he was confused. I put mom in bed and walked him to his front door which was across our apartments. Then I called the cops. I remember a murder that happened in my apartment where a young woman was murder and the same man in the same scene was found like that. The cops couldn't find proof, just charged the man with trespassing. The problem is that he has Alzheimer's. Kind off woke up after this or done remember much more. but still have that man's picture in my mind. Wonder who he was.
the more i think about this dream, i believe that the man represents the Alzheimer's that took my mother away from me. Alzheimer's murders the soul and memories of everyone that it hits. maybe i can do a drawing to represent this dream. maybe.
Back in the 90's living with my mother in a townhouse apartment. Was the middle of the night in the dream too. Awake to see my mother lying on the floor, curled up in the hall and the first step of the stairs. This strange man was standing over her body. She was asleep. Not sure how she got there. The man looked like some actor that I have seen on TV. White, old and creepy looking, he had an empty look on his face, he was confused. I put mom in bed and walked him to his front door which was across our apartments. Then I called the cops. I remember a murder that happened in my apartment where a young woman was murder and the same man in the same scene was found like that. The cops couldn't find proof, just charged the man with trespassing. The problem is that he has Alzheimer's. Kind off woke up after this or done remember much more. but still have that man's picture in my mind. Wonder who he was.
the more i think about this dream, i believe that the man represents the Alzheimer's that took my mother away from me. Alzheimer's murders the soul and memories of everyone that it hits. maybe i can do a drawing to represent this dream. maybe.
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